Are you feeling uneasy about your next move in life?

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When a chapter ends and you’re uncertain about the next thing, keep this in mind.

Are you currently closing a chapter in your life? If you are, take a deep breath because change can be scary.

Whether that is being single, graduating college, or becoming a mother, you’re stepping into the unknown. While this is a beautiful thing, you’re mourning your current life in a way. 

After all, in order to feel fulfilled and happy with your life, you need change. Just like the changes in nature during the seasons or plants blooming and growing, humans are meant to grow and change too. 

We aren’t meant to be stuck in the same pattern our entire lives. That actually sounds pretty boring.

With change comes newness and it forces us out of our comfort zone because our routines — our day-to-day — change. There is so much unknown that it’s downright uncomfortable.

Know that that is normal. 

My little sister graduated college last weekend and it prompted me to reflect on the last 10 years since I graduated. First off, it’s crazy how 10 years have come and gone since then but I’ve learned so much that I wanted to share with you today.

Within those 10 years, there have been many changes in my life and I’ve learned something each time I’ve taken that leap into the unknown. 

From different jobs and homeownership to falling in love, and everything in between when adulting, my life has been different than I envisioned when I graduated but in the best way. 

I’m so proud of the woman I’m becoming and I feel more and more comfortable in who I am every day but it did take time to get to where I am today.

As you take that next step, here is what I’ve learned throughout my 20s and into my 30s. 

1. Reflect on your last chapter

women looking into the distance, hand in a fist but looking happy and appears to be celebrating something. She has a notebook in your other hand and she is sitting on the couch

Reflection is key before making any big decisions because the past does leave clues. 

Take a moment to look back and celebrate your accomplishments and learn from your mistakes. This is a great way to move forward with more intention. It may not seem like it, but you’ve accomplished a lot in the past 4 years (whether you were in college or not). 

You’ve put in the work and now it’s time to take a moment to celebrate it. 

Write down everything you’re grateful for and go beyond the obvious things. If you really think about it, I’m sure there’s a lot of small moments you wouldn’t trade. 

Write down all your accomplishments and be proud of yourself.

Then let’s get into the journaling part, journaling can be a great tool to decipher your thoughts and feelings.

 Ask yourself what you can learn from this season. What do you want to leave in the past and what are you taking with you as you move forward? 

Then write down everything you’re looking forward to. If you aren’t sure what your next step is, this is a great way to see what is on your heart. From here, you can start breaking that vision down into actionable steps to get to that goal. 

Not sure how to break down your goals? Check out my FREE goal setting workbook.

2. You’re never going to have it all figured out

Growing up, I thought the adults in my life had it all figured out but this isn’t true. No one has it all figured out.

We’re constantly changing and growing. Once we figure one thing out, something else is going to pop up.

We don’t know how to navigate everything and knowing this can be a huge weight off your shoulders. You’re always going to be a beginner at something and the more times you’re a beginner at something the better.

Since that means you’re learning and growing which is going to open up more opportunities for you.

Even things we can’t control like pandemics or interest rates skyrocketing are going to happen and we have to adapt and learn to navigate our new circumstances. 

So give yourself a break. 

Maybe you don’t know what that next step is and that’s normal. I don’t know who thought we should have it all figured out at 18. There’s so much more you have to learn about yourself and navigate. 

But give yourself the grace to be okay with not knowing what you’re doing but still taking one step forward in any direction. 

3. Stop trying to be perfect, it’s only holding you back

Waiting to figure out the next perfect step is going to hold you back from figuring it out. Analysis paralysis isn’t going to give you the answers that you’re looking for.

There’s this saying that imperfect action is better than inaction and it’s a great saying to live by. I think schools do us a disservice in this aspect because we are judged against our peers, our failures are frowned upon, and having perfect grades gets you extra rewards. 

I get it since it motivates students to do better and apply themselves but I think it has created a lot of perfectionists.

I did well in school but I’m definitely a recovering perfectionist. A part of me still doesn’t like putting things out there unless I’m certain of the outcome but that’s not how the world works.

We have to fail in order to learn. After all, FAIL is just the first attempt at learning. 

As we learn, we’re going to mess up and not get it right. It’s perfectly natural.

For example, a baby doesn’t just get up and start walking one day. Experts say that babies fall an average of 17 times PER HOUR when learning how to walk. Just think how many times they fall down before they learn to take that first step and even then, they fall some more before they’re walking without assistance. 

But we don’t give them a hard time or tell them they failed. No, you’re supposed to encourage them to try again and be positive about it. 

So try. Get out there and take imperfect action. Be proud that you tried even if you aren’t successful the first time. The important thing is that you get back up and try again. 

That’s the only way you’re going to get better.

4. Never stop learning 

This leads to my next point: never stop learning. After school, it’s crazy how many people never pick up another book again.

For introverts, this number is probably higher but I digress. 

Learning doesn’t mean that you have to pick up another book but you should try to learn something new every day. And I don’t necessarily mean school subjects.

Actually, I encourage you to learn new things that have nothing to do with the degree you have. Your degree, while it’s an amazing accomplishment, is not your end all be all.

You’re allowed to pursue other things.

You could learn how to knit, how to make Instagram Reels, how to do a handstand. The possibilities are endless but you’ll have a huge advantage if you’re open to learning new things.

We have so many resources at our fingertips to be able to learn something new. Between Youtube videos to online courses, if you want to learn something, the information is easily accessible. 

Having that growth mindset (the mindset that you can change, learn, and grow) versus a fixed mindset (you are the way you are and that can’t change) can take you on a path that you didn’t expect. 

Because you may decide in a few years that you want to pursue a different career path than your degree and that’s okay. Let’s say you gave it a shot, got into the workforce, and realized it wasn’t as great as you thought.

It would be better to pursue something else that interests you instead of working in a job you don’t love for the next 60 years right?

Let’s normalize not being defined by our degrees but instead, your degree is an asset in your portfolio that makes you a well-rounded individual.

5. Stay curious and explore

Your life will probably not turn out how you expect it to. It’ll turn out even better if you stay curious and explore your options because you’ll find your true purpose. 

This is all about gaining life experiences to be able to build self-awareness. If you stay where you are, doing the same things, you’re not going to broaden your horizons. For example, if you’ve never tried exotic food, how do you know if you like it?

The same can be applied to any aspect of your life. The more you try and experience new things, the better you’ll understand yourself and what you want out of life. 

So explore the world and be open to meeting new people. You’ll be exposed to new cultures and new perspectives and it can lead you to think about things in a completely different light. 

Travelling is one of my favorite things to do and it’s really cool to see different parts of the world. You learn so much about yourself when you get away from your current environment so I encourage you to get out of your bubble as often as possible. 

6. Take the leap

I know you’re scared but just do it. 

The unknown is scary but it’s where you’ll find that missing piece. Otherwise, you’re limiting your success and your full potential in life.

And hey, worst-case scenario and you don’t like it, you can always leave or move on to something else. Nothing is permanent in this life and we get to choose whether we stay or not.

If you continue to do the same things and expect different results, you’re insane (it’s literally the definition of insanity). So if there’s something that you want to do but you’re scared to do it, just take the leap of faith.

Those feelings of fulfillment and purpose are what makes life so special. So travel, take that job, try that weird thing, or post on Instagram. Whatever lights you up, do it. No matter what people think or say. 

Do your thing girl. 

7. Stop comparing yourself to others

We aren’t meant to be the same but it can be so hard to go against the norm. After all, we all want to be accepted so we conform to society’s standards.

But this is a surefire way to make yourself feel inadequate. Especially if you’re comparing yourself to others’ perfectly curated social media pages, it’s a losing battle that you cannot win.

Even comparing yourself to your friends or siblings can be detrimental to your mental well-being. We’re all on our own paths and timelines. You aren’t wrong for wanting to take a year off to travel or figure out your next move and you aren’t wrong if you’re ready to take on that new corporate job right away.

You have to do what is best for YOU. 

Staying in your own lane and not looking to your side is the hardest thing you can do but it can be so rewarding. It takes so much pressure off if you stop trying to reach these milestones that society has set for you or the pressure to be the best. 

If you focus on what you’re doing, that’s when your creativity can soar and you can really excel in what you do. It’s how you can be truly happy at where you’re at in this present moment.

8. Make time for your friends and family 

In your pursuit of your goals and your dreams, don’t forget to love your people hard. I truly believe that there is magic in finding the balance between working hard and resting. 

Part of that rest for me is spending time with my friends and family. You don’t know how much time you have with them so make the most of it. 

This is something that I’m still working on but call your grandparents, mom, and friends. Don’t be so busy that you can’t make time for the people that you care about. I truly believe the advice to lock yourself away until you hit those big goals is the worst advice ever. You want to enjoy your life and the journey. Sure, you have to work hard but that sounds like the highway to burnout.

As humans, we need to feel connected to others so shutting yourself away from the world is going to cause havoc on your mental health and tire you out. It’s not worth it to me.

It doesn’t have to be a long-winded thing, even a text can make a world of difference. So as you go through life, don’t forget about the people who are in your corner supporting and loving you. 

9. Set boundaries and love yourself

On the flip side, make sure that others aren’t controlling your life. Make sure you spend time with your loved ones but also spend time with yourself.

To fill your cup up and get things done that you need to get done. If you have big dreams and goals, you’re going to have to put in the work. Nothing worth getting is easy so you have to take the time to nurture it.

That’s why I said there is magic in finding the balance because we only have so much time in a day. So don’t try to do all the things but find a way to balance your week so that you’re filling your social needs, working on your passions, and spending time with yourself to just be.

I promise you that your loved ones (if they are worth it) will still love you if you tell them no and if you set boundaries with your time. Trust me, it’ll make the time you do spend with them more special because you can be more focused and present since you aren’t stressing about other things you should be doing.

You are worthy, you are enough and you are an awesome woman. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Loving yourself is going to support you on your journey to an amazing life. It’ll give you the confidence to show up fully, set boundaries, and get sh!t done.

10. Enjoy the process 

And lastly, enjoy the process. Most of your life is going to consist of you working towards goals. That’s why I’m such a big advocate for enjoying life in the pursuit of your goals. 

We only get one shot at this thing called life so have fun. We have to live, learn and experience new things. That’s how you live a fulfilling and purposeful life.

Don’t be too busy chasing the next big thing that you miss out on what is happening right now. It becomes even more apparent at times like this when you’re about to move on.

I know you’ve been waiting for this moment, excited about the next thing but I’m sure there has been so many great moments in this season you’re in right now.

If you’re about to take the next big, scary steps, know that you got this. The more you take risks, the easier it gets. 

We don’t live amazing lives by being comfortable all the time. Even though being cozy is my thing, we have to venture out into the unknown.

It makes the cozy moments, even more cozy.

Until next time,

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Are you feeling uneasy about your next move in life?

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